Tonight's Thoughts...

"So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed." John 8:36

This verse came to mind tonight as I glanced at Face of Sunshine's blog. Hmm....it's truly a powerful verse and something I truly want to believe in. I want to be FREE! Free from all this do's and don'ts and everything else society wants you to be.

I met this person almost two weeks ago and I went out for dinner with him. After the first date....I guess you could call it that but, there were a few little things that I didn't like about this person. I truly do want to find my partner who I'm supposed to live this life with but, this person....I just don't think he's the one and nor do I want to continue to go out with him. BUT, he doesn't stop calling or text messaging me. It's like, I belong to him or he belongs to me. This whole relationship thing is new to me but, I don't think this is how I'm supposed to feel. I feel trapped and like theres no space to breath. I feel like I'm obligated to give my time to him when I don't even feel like it. Also, I feel as though...well, I KNOW in my heart that I don't want to hang out with him any more. It's interesting though how even just one time....having dinner just one time, you just know. Or, maybe I'm wrong... maybe I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life with him....Could it be?? Well, I'm convinced that I'm not supposed to spend any time with him just because I think if I really did like a guy it would be different. I would want to spend time with him, and I would want to see him again, and .....well, I wouldn't feel trapped!

On the other side....there's bunch of family who I have not seen for almost 10 years. I just invited one of my older cousin's for Christmas dinner when I'm not even sure if it's really going to happen or not. See, I have a cousin who lives just around the corner from me and the funny thing is, I havent' seen her for almost 10 years too but, we met randomly at the bus terminal. It's been so nice to have connected with her again.

Work, work....it's been really stressful at work these past few weeks. So many changes and I've been working so much that today i called in sick cause...well, i was out drinking last night with my cousin and her husband after work and I was so sick all night and this morning. I guess I learned not to go drinking on a work night. Hahaha! But never the less, it was nice for a change.
But, starting tomorrow it's another work day and Then, I have a day off! YES!

I've also started making some people's Christmas presents. I'm not sure if I'll be able to get everyone gifts this year but.....I guess it's ok.

Well, these are all my thoughts for the night. I'll have to write again possibly tomorrow.

See ya

JAMIE OLIVER NIGHT!

Last week Thursday evening Jamie Oliver came to the book store where I work and I was able to get a picture of him. It was pretty cool!

Hmm....

Hmm....Last few days I've been thinking a lot and I had many, many things on my mind. For example, work and just ME. It's strange but...I long for change and I don't really long for results or anything but....I long for something I'm not even sure if I can grasp it. Hmm...

I'll MISS You!

This evening we had a gathering at my place to say good bye to a few people in our lives....

I know I'm going to miss them a lot but, they are not going far. The thing is, I learned so much from her and I wanted to grow into a person who is always kind, loving, sharing, compassionate and always helping those of us who need help. It's always a blessing to meet people like this throughout one's life. I was lucky in this way but, I know I can become a person like this some day soon.

From this person I learned what it means to be a leader and have respect for those around you. I learned that being myself isn't a bad thing and that I need to learn to just trust myself and follow my own heart. I've been thinking a lot and I've come up with a conclusion that no one is here to live my life for me and that I'm the only one that can take care of myself and I'm responsible for my happiness. It's pretty cool that with every one that you meet in your life, they always have something you need to learn or, they learn something from you. I've only become a better person because of this person. I'm sure I'll see them again soon but....for now, I want to keep my memories in my heart and use some time to digest everything and change into the person I want to become. Thank You for everything and for always believing in me. I will miss You but, I know your not too far away. See ya

IMAGINE THE
UNIVERSE....

"IMAGINE THE UNIVERSE
BEAUTIFUL AND JUST
AND PERFECT...

THEN BE SURE OF ONE
THING:

THE IS HAS IMAGINED."

-Richard Bach, Illusions