EVERYTHING CHANGES...

So, I know it's been a very long time since I have written anything on my blog. I've been swamped with work and with the very little time I have for myself I have been actually, trying to manage friends as well as my own time away from people and society. But, I am ok....

WOW! Last three days have been really LONG. I've been spending way too much time at work, working and I wish for a change now. It's strange but....I feel as though I need to change my location of work. The same job but just a change in environment and people. Change is was I long for right now.

We got a new Manager about 4 or 5 months ago and I've learned so much and I've come to really admire this person in charge but I found out that the company is moving this person to another location and I really wanted to grow under this person just cause I saw many qualities that are similar to me as well, that I would like to acquire. But....I'm on my own again....and I'm ready to move on and I would really like to move up in the company. These are some of the things that are on my mind....

I wonder is any one else drowns themselves in work as I do. Yes, there are times when I feel like I need to get away but, work is a big part of my life. I wish I could re-locate. I wish I could learn more and develop new skills and one day I can become a strong, fair, caring, honest, consistent, and hard working manager. One day....I know it will come and I know I will enjoy it very much.

Hmm....what else.....it's finally my day off tomorrow but, I may have to go into work and I know I need to start cleaning my place cause I'm having a get together at my house this Saturday. Many people are expected to come but....with what little time I have and I need to clean my place and prepare. Seems like there really isn't enough time to spend alone in peace and quiet. But, I guess....just some people like me .....actually LIKE to work.

I'm coming to realize that I have been scared of change my whole life and it's time to face change and have fun with it. Each change is good and for me to work at another location might be the best thing to do. I'll think about it some more....See ya!

OH and , I can't wait till Christmas this year! It will be my first Christmas in my own place. I can't wait to decorate and build my worn traditions.
Hahaha

Ever Feel Like You Don't Belong???

I went to work today and after work....not a long day but, I worked without a break cause the day was just like that. After work I wanted to stay with my Manager just a little while some thing needed to be done....But I wasn't allowed to stay cause I was apparently going to be a distraction even though I was just going to sit and not say anything. I'm not sure what exactly happened but, I felt sooooo "put aside" and soooooo left out for some reason. I started getting frustrated and shortly after I was done work we were headed out for some staff dinner and at that point, I really didn't want to go just cause I felt as though I just don't belong. I should have listened to my heart. I shouldn't have gone cause I feel worse and I feel as though I'm at my job to just do the work, instead of enjoying it as I always do. I feel as though I try to talk to my Manager these days but, I just get brushed aside and that's it. Kinda like, I'm just not supposed to belong any more. I'm good at what I do and I know in my heart that I am but, today I just feel as though I don't belong and I can't stop crying cause I'm soooooooooo FRUSTRATED cause no one will listen and I feel like....I feel so used and I just don't know HOW I'M SUPPOSED TO BE so that I don't feel hurt next time and I can go into work, just do my job (even though I enjoy it) and just leave. I wonder, has EVERYTHING CHANGED without me knowing???? IS IT JUST ME????

The Last Few Weeks...

Last few weeks have been really, really hectic and just...non stop. I'm pretty sure everyone has had this feeling before. Not even a feeling but, literally....just really busy and life is just non stop. Hmm....


I have been working like 8 and even 9 days straight with like just one day off and I find that I haven't been really doing anything except, work, sleep, eat and just try to get this and that done with the little time I have left for myself. WHAT IS THIS LIFE?? I have been trying to come up with a very good and persuading answer to this question but....each day as the days, weeks, months go by...I have NO ANSWER. Maybe one day soon a answer will come.


Some days I feel like I want more to my life now.....I want to do more...I want to feel more.....HOW?? This also has been a question lingering in my heart.....After just living one day at a time....getting the things that I need to get done each day...or not even getting it done but, just hoping things could get done....I really missed one thing and that was WRITING...either in my journal or on my blog. I think I'll write some thing sin my journal after I'm done writing this...whatever that I'm writing or trying to get out at least.


I think I'm going to write more. I've decided...even though I work a lot and I hardly have time to do what I want to do each day...I'm going to try a little harder to do even just a little of the things I want and feel like doing. I'm looking forward to my Saturday day off. My only one this week and I'm going to have lots of fun. Good night and see ya all soon.

I'm AMAZED!

The other day I had a really, really bad day at work. Not that it was ALL bad but, I felt as though I was worthless just because some one said something really hurtful to me. That night I had nightmares and yesterday at work, I felt as though my confidence have been shot down.

But, everything changed this evening. This evening I had the pleasure of working with my Manager who I admire a great deal. I admire her for her ability to focused, even though she has countless things on her mind. Not only that, she always takes the time to help and coach those who need help, even though she has so many things to do. I was amazed this evening as to how calm she stayed and she still has so much patience for each and every one of us. It's great to have such a Manager. The thing is, I think if I were a Manager I would want to be the same way. I learn a lot of her each day.

One day, I want to become a manager just like her.